December 28, 2011

Review: Breaking Dawn Part I

Holy hell buckets, I just realised that I never wrote up my review of Breaking Dawn Part 1.

Chances are that if you're interested in Twilight, you have already seen this movie. And if you've read the book, you already know what happens. So, you know Edward and Bella get hitched- Kristen is supposed to look all happy to walk down the aisle towards him, lose all her nerves but instead looks like she's got the trots. Never mind. As usual, Charlie is the one that makes you feel anything- her poor dad, wondering why they hell she wants to marry this dude who ran off and left her without a word and made her go nuts. And, he has a point.

Anyhoot, we were all hoping for some graphic birthing scenes-she was delightfully gaunt, I must say. But it wasn't gruesome enough for me.

Eager for the next, and final, installment of this little addiction.

4/5 The best so far.

November 21, 2011

Immortals (2011)

If you like movies with graphic killing scenes and plenty of action, I would most definitely recommend this.

Theseus (Henry Cavill) plays the hero with the amazing upper body, you'll recognise Poseidon as "that guy from Twilight" (Kellan Lutz) and Lysander as "that bad guy from Vampire Diaries" (Joseph Morgan) who seems to have a penchant for playing the villain. Zeus is pretty hot (Luke Evans) and there are other hot people in it as well: Freida Pinto (the enchanting, virginal, oracle- Phaedra), Stephen Dorff (Dirty Stavros) and more. Mickey Rourke plays a convincing asshole as King Hyperion, sadistic and cruel in so many different ways. Australian actress Isabel Lucas (Athena) had just few enough lines to not look stupid, as she so often does, and I was pleasantly surprised with her in this film.

All you need to know is that Theseus is a mortal dude with a great body and no fear (of course!) who Zeus seems to like. King Hyperion is all about wiping out the weak and becoming "immortal"/famous and Theseus has to fight him. There's lots of killing and blood and sword fighting. There's the hot chick he is destined to get with and a bunch of gods upstairs fighting over what happens downstairs.

4/5 entertaining, loved the blood.

August 19, 2011

Movie: Jane Eyre (2011)

Starring the intriguing Mia Wasikowska (The most recent Alice) as the repressed governess Jane Eyre and Michael Fassbender (Seen earlier this year as Magneto in X-Men First Class) as the alluring older gentleman- Mr Rochester.

Mia Wasikowska may be a genius. Just saying. She was so convincing and so ethereal and so... Jane. It was very impressive. (Much better than her foray into Alice in Wonderland. I think this role suits her better)

As for Michael, I think I've developed a bit of a crush on him. I loved him in X Men but... damn, he made a hot Rochester.

Having read the book a mere twenty zillion times, my expectations were high, so high in fact that I was preparing myself to be disappointed. But how wrong I was. This movie did not dwell on sections of the book that were irrelevant, nor did it follow a linear timeline that would have bored those who had read the novel. It held the interest of the audience for the entire movie, the scenery was magical, the characters were amazing, the camera work, the music, the raw emotions. It had it all.

I love period drama, it's the costumes, the romance and the characters who are so uptight that the sexual tension could be cut with a plastic spoon. So mayhaps it's not for you, but if you don't want to spend your ten bucks, I suggest you read the book.

I declare, four stars!


August 8, 2011

Book in review: Beat the Reaper (Josh Bazell)

Written by Josh Bazell MD this witty fictional tale of an intern with a mobster history as a successful hitman is genius. From start to finish you'll be engrossed in his style of writing and in love with his brutally honest assessment of the world.

Dr Peter Brown isn't any old intern, he's an ex-killer with a gift for saving lives. His humour is dark and laugh-out-loud-even-though-you're-in-public-funny. He's got a chip on his shoulder, a brain sharper than a scalpel blade and a unique talent for dispatching with his enemies.

The book opens with Dr Brown boredly disabling his would-be mugger, and takes you on a roller coaster adventure that will suck you in and leave you wanting more.

Read it! Read it read it read it. FIVE STARS!

Movie in Review: Hanna 2011

Starring 17 year old Saoirse Ronan as Hanna, bleached hair and brows and blue contacts make her seem surreal and rather odd looking. She's a sheltered killer, brought up by her father to be the perfect assassin.

There isn't a lot to say about this movie, it is good- there's killing and blood and suspense and more blood. Which is all wonderful.

However, thinly veiled storyline, a lack of depth with the background information and Cate Blanchett's attempt to be evil does marr the tale.



I give it 3.5 Stars

June 25, 2011

X-Men: First Class (2011)

This prequel, starring James McAvoy as Prof Xavier, definitely filled in some of the gaps the last four movies have kept secret. And not only that, but it did something that few prequels can claim, it had a relevant, interesting, multidimensional storyline.

Character development seemed to be a key aim of the film, with a significant portion devoted to the young lives and origins of each X Man/Woman. Their lives are even more intertwined than one would suspect from the previous four movies, with the exception, perhaps, of Erik- whom we all know to be Charles' best friend and arch nemesis (One of the most interesting relationships in sci-fi history, in my opinion).

James McAvoy plays Xavier (Professor X) to a T, capturing his brilliant mind, wit and supernatural calm, as well as his ability to bring people together and help them develop their abilities.

Michael Fassbender plays a haunted (And sexy) Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto), and you can't help but root for him as he goes about his killing sprees once you've seen his story.

Mystique/Raven is played by Jennifer Lawrence and her story is one that I haven't had the opportunity to explore via the comics. I don't want to give away the storyline so I'll leave it to you to enjoy.
Score: 4/5

Confounding factors: I'm enormously bias due to my immense love of X-Men and all affiliated products ;)

June 18, 2011

Movie in review: Sucker Punch

In short: the story of a teenage girl sent to an asylum for a murder she did not commit, by her evil stepfather, who then attempts to escape. The storyline is overlaid by an imagined storyline (in her head) which she involves other inmates in, thereby following through with an utterly impossible plan revolving around four objects which she requires for liberation.


The good points
  • Pretty girls in pretty costumes
  • Interesting graphics

The bad points
  • Repetitive x4
  • Stupid nicknames
  • It wasn't gruesome enough
  • Average storyline
  • Predictable ending

I think they could have done a lot more with a teenage girl and a samurai sword. I was very disappointed!



In picture form: (Bask in the glory of my paint skills)

January 29, 2011

Movie in review: Black Swan

I have two words to describe this movie: Effing Weird.
The acting is good, the sets are good, the special effects are good, the music is excellent, the dancing is beautiful and the lead actress is the stunning Natalie Portman... But that doesn't stop this movie from being so dark and confusing and disturbing and dirty, in equal measures, that the audience left in the most sombre mood I have ever experienced.

Natalie plays a very convincing, insane, ballerina who gets progressively crazier as the movie swoops on, and on and on. You'll cringe, you'll gasp, you might even get a little turned on- but it's still effing weird.

My interpretation of this movie is as follows:
I suspect that those who enjoy artsy-type movies will find this to be an intriguing piece of visual art... but I just think it was effing weird. And I can't even think of a rating. I wouldn't see it twice, even though I'm madly in love with Natalie Portman.

Rating: WTF
Perhaps you can tell me what you thought of it...


January 24, 2011

Movie in review: Morning Glory

I admit that I wasn't expecting much from this movie, despite the three seasoned actors involved, and I certainly wasn't expecting to get as many laughs from it as I did. Having no companion to accompany me to said movie, I seated myself in the middle of the theatre and was soon joined by several over the hill middle-aged couples who shared my love of Harrison Ford (Old-man-crush alert. Don't lie, he did it for you as Han Solo, or better yet, Indiana Jones).
Anyway, my initial thought was 'How can you seriously make an entire movie about a morning show?' and I think the answer to that question is to have an adorable Rachel McAdams playing the lead with huge backing from movie juggernauts like old Harrison and the (surprisingly attractive for an older lady) Diane Keaton. If the two news anchors had been replaced with B grade actors (or worse) this movie would have been complete crap. But, I have to admit that I enjoyed the movie and even teared up at the ending (But don't tell anyone).

Still- I'm going to be hard on it and say 3/5 (which is harsh for me), because it's no masterpiece, but it isn't totally lame like I thought it would be.

January 6, 2011

Movie in review: Tangled

Maybe I've been extremely lenient on my previous movie reviews, they all seem to score so highly- but I have to give this one a five out of five. Disney has my heart in a shiny filigree cage, filled with animated daisies, paper lanterns and 3D inquisitive fluffy bunnies.

Tangled is a warm and modern look at the age-old Rapunzel fairytale; with an evil old woman/witch (Mother Gothel- I think the name refers to her gothic style of dress), an adorable chameleon side kick (Pascal), a handsome young thief (Flynn), and Maximus the entertaining horse.

Disney is the master of concocting a movie with just the right amount of laughter with tear jerking moments and the magic of beautiful backdrops. There is nothing more perfect than the Disney view of the world in bright greens and electric blue butterflies, songs for every emotion, and castles with pleasant kings and queens and clean streets with loyal and happy subjects.

In short, I want to live in the kingdom of Disney, and this movie rocked.

Go see it! Spend your dimes.